Contrary to what you would believe if you looked at me, I am in fact aging. In fact, I’m going to be 40 next year! And while that sounds absolutely wild, it’s also something I’m grateful for.
And yet, even I am not immune to what it’s like aging as a woman in the world. There’s so much pressure to stay hot, look young, be it all. Women are “old” while men are “in their prime.” I hate it. It makes absolutely no sense. But there are times in which I understand it and fear aging too.
My 30’s have been the absolute best years of my life. Truly, my 20’s were fun, but they were a shitshow. My 30’s are where I’ve done the most growing, learning and becoming my best self. I can only hope my 40’s will follow this pattern.
So how was women do we focus on the good parts of aging?
Do you: Plain and simple, do what makes you happy. Stop the noise of “I shouldn’t and I should” and do what brings you joy. Forget the trends, the diets, the cliche advice. Want to wear a mini skirt at 60? Rock it babe. Want to start a new career at 40? Get after it! Refuse to get work done ever? Age gracefully queen. There’s no rules. You’re the one who has to do this journey, don’t do it for anyone else.
Worry less about what others think of us: Ok, yea, this one is the hardest. But actively choosing to block the noise when others have opinions on how we look, what we do - is critical to aging. Because there will always be someone saying we look too something, are wearing something we shouldn’t, that we need Botox — the list goes on. So what. That’s a reflecting of them, not us.
Be an ally: I’m a girl’s girl. I’m going to compliment you in the streets, hype you up at work and give you the hard truth when you need it. Actively choose to lift up other women on their aging journey. Compliment strangers of all ages. Be patient and kind with older and younger folks at work alike. When another woman chooses to age differently than you, support her. Champion other women for choosing what works for them.
Create value for yourself outside of your physical appearance. As we get older, our bodies and looks change. There are going to be times we don’t love that. You have to find value in yourself outside of your physical body. I hope you find ways to love how beautiful you are at every age, but I hope first and foremost you remember the only person it matters you look good for is yourself and what that means to you. And that your looks are the least interesting thing about you.
Find gratitude: It truly is a gift to age. Especially in a world I’ve seen so many friends and family lose that privilege. Learn to be grateful you have the opportunity to age and experience all that comes with. So many don’t have that opportunity.
Aging is wild as hell. I feel like I was both 18 yesterday and 22 last week and that I’m still 24 now. It’s wild to be an age that I used to think was so far beyond my scope that surely I can’t be there yet. And I’ll struggle with that, but I’ll also find ways to live the rest of this life aging with joy.