Career Corner: An Update

It’s been awhile (I feel like I say this every single time) since I did a career update. It has been SEVEN months since I started at Google. Time flew by and at the same time I think about my life in Texas and it feels like it happened decades ago.

Where do I start? Short answer, I’m thriving. I love this job. I love this company. I love this team.

I have always thought that I would have to choose between loving my job and loving where I work and at Google, I don’t have to make that choice.

I’m going to caveat that no, things are not perfect rainbows and unicorns 24/7, but that’s not a realistic expectation to have in life; in any capacity.

Things are really shiny and sparkly though and I have all the boxes checked when it comes to what matters to me in a career.

Growth

Growth is really important here. There are endless opportunities to learn both online, out in practice, and from your fellow Googlers. And it’s all valuable. Every avenue for learning is beneficial to me on a personal and professional level. I have avenues to grow into within this company and those possibilities are endless.

Respect

I am respected. And at any point if I am not, it is addressed immediately and thoroughly. My supervisor has repeatedly had to remind me that I am not in my past roles and she does not tolerate abusive behavior from anyone - within Google or from outside visitors.

Challenge

I am challenged every single day. Truly, I learn about a billion new things each day and there is still so much more I have not learned. There’s no possibility of “I’ve learned it all” here. And the talent pool is so stacked that I’m forced to keep up if I want to stay relevant.

Time

My time is respected. I have a social life. I control my schedule and I’m allowed to say that I’m overwhelmed or burnt out and need support. This has vastly improved who I am as a human being. I’m finding that a lot of my cranky behavior in the past was due to being so miserable and unhealthy in the workplace. I don’t have that here

The bottom line is I’m so happy. I’m so thankful and I’m so encouraged by what I’ve found at this point in my journey. And I hope it encourages you to never settle for anything less than everything. It’s out there. And it’s worth the fight.

Career Corner: An Update

I guess it’s time for a little career corner update. I’ve been a Googler (shout out Cloud team!) for about three months now. Practically a seasoned veteran.

Bottom line - I’m happy and I’m thriving. Let’s break it down.

Can I hack it?

All of the intense fears I had about not being good enough are all but gone. Being new to the tech world was a really intimidating thing. I didn’t know the lingo, the products, the way things are done - and I still don’t. But the best thing I was ever told was that I’ll never know. Tech is ever evolving. By definition that’s its job! And that’s my favorite thing about being in this industry. I cannot learn everything. There will always be a new training I can take or a new product to research. I cannot ever be the smartest person in the room because of how large this field is. When I said I don’t ever want to be an expert in anything, I certainly hope I meant it because here I am living that truth.

Life Balance

I watched one TedTalk on Work/Life balance being a sham and here I am drinking the Kool Aid. I buy into the fact that sometimes all your marbles live in the work bin and sometimes they’re rolling around in your party pants. Thankfully, three months in I feel pretty good. The first two months were a lot of studying. A lot of shadowing. A slow ramp up. All things I hate. But all very necessary to being successful in my role. Then here we are in January which has been the wildest Fast and the Furious movie yet. But I’m in the thick of it and I’m able to contribute to the team. We are all learning about some cool new changes together. AND I’m not the new kid anymore! There are days I’m exhausted. Sure that affects my personal life - yet most days I feel a reasonable level of stress and the ability to do what I need to do personally.

That Google Culture

Listen, I wish this was the moment I was able to give you some big expose on Google. I know I’m still new so in a year I could be sitting here thinking wow was I wrong (if you’re a regular reader, you’re aware it wouldn’t be the first time) but right now, I’m here for the vibe. I’m treated like an adult, with respect, kindness, inclusiveness - I didn’t know this was all a thing at a company. Sure, I have moments I get irritated, I don’t positively love every human I meet - but when this organization says you will be respectful, it damn well means it. My schedule can be flexible. As long as I do my job, the rest, that’s for me to design. Period. They really mean it. And the perks, yea, they’re pretty nice. I’m here for the googliness, I have nothing negative to say and I’m sorry you don’t get the Access Hollywood scandal, but I just haven’t experienced it.

The Role

When I first started I wasn’t sure if this was the role I had dreamed of. I was in all transparency not 100% sure of everything it entailed. Fun fact, neither was the team! It’s been an evolving ever changing role with a growing department. For me that’s not a new position to be in. It doesn’t bother me like it might someone who craves structure. I think it leads to a lot of really exciting possibilities and areas for me to grow. I’m also appreciated for the talents and experience I have. I’m encouraged to use those things to make the team stronger. I honestly don’t know what my dream role is anymore. But I know I’m happy, challenged, and I don’t dread coming to work. That’s more than enough for me.

To sum it all up - I feel like I’m balanced. Weird way to describe a new job but it’s all I’ve ever dreamed of. I’ve existed in roles I hate or companies I hate or surrounded by people I don’t respect and there’s never been just a balance of feeling calm and even and normal. I don’t have the intense Sunday scaries. I’m not looking at how I can get out of work. I’ll still always prefer to be traveling the world, but if I have to work until I win the lottery/marry rich - this gig will do.

Stay tuned…the adventure is sure to twist and turn and bob and weave and I can’t wait to see where it takes me.

As always, thank you for your support and know that your best adventure is out there if you’re willing to chase it!

Work Swagg

As you know - since you all read my blog religiously - I've had quite the work journey.  I've had the low pay, the dream job, the hostile work environment, the bored out of my mind - all of it.  And I've moved over and over, spent 6 months to 4 years at various jobs.  The one consistency, the one guiding method to my madness - has been that I refuse to settle.

Because early in my career I dealt with some less than ideal work environments - along the way - I lost my work mojo.  I lost my confidence in what I do and I forgot that I'm a really bad ass boss babe.  Just as I finally got into my dream gig - what I had spent years working for - I was broken down and beat up.  It was a daily grind of not being good enough, being told I was bossy, never praised for the truly incredible events I was producing - and it got to me.

I left that job a little bit broken, defeated, discouraged - and wondering if I'd ever find the right fit.  And then I got a new job.  And it was another disappointment.  And then - it took me SIX MONTHS to find a job I felt I could thrive in.  Even after I accepted this new adventure - I had doubts.  Was I making the right choice?  Would this be just another bad fit?  Was I the problem?

It's been about 3+ years of the uncertainties.  Of the working hard, giving it everything I've got - and then not being able to feel that confidence in what I've accomplished.  My mom calls it my PTSD.  I'm so used to this bizarre work life where tough love and breaking you down is the way leadership molds its environment that when I'm in a normal healthy place - I don't know what to do.  I'm constantly doubting myself, making a mountain out of a mole hill, and worrying whether I'm as good as I thought.

The thing is - I am really good at this.  I'm better than a lotof people at this.  My weirdly bubbly and odd ball personality is what gives me some insanely good creative ideas.  I am a master of the details.  I am fueled by the stressful situations.  People like me.  I know what it takes to produce the events that make people connect to whatever the goal of that event is - to identify and feel loyalty to that brand.  There is tangible proof all of this is true.

And yet most days - there's that evil little PTSD elf sitting on my shoulder saying - you're not good enough.  You don't deserve to be here. 

Surely part if it is my anxiety.  And part of it is the extremes of the work environments I've lived in.  But at what point do I take responsibility and say enough is enough.  I can't control my anxiety all the time.  And I certainly cannot change my past jobs.  But I can move forward.  I can say - you got out of those situations and you are refusing to settle. 

Part of refusing to settle - is taking responsibility and acknowledging I do have that PTSD but those doubts are unfounded.  It's making a conscious effort to recognize those situations, those moments of doubt - and stopping that asshole elf before he takes over the sparkles in my brain.  It's reminding myself of all the really awesome things I've done and accomplished and moving forward without fear because I am a badass - and these companies are lucky to have me. 

We all have our fears, doubts, and freak-outs.  We live in a world where working longer, achieving more, and being the best is paramount to anything.  Most of us place an unhealthy amount of pressure on ourselves to be perfect.  And that's not realistic.  And its not productive.  It's not how we become better.

So as I learn to get my workplace swagg back - in a new job that affords me a really great environment to do so - I am choosing to cut myself a break, be my own cheerleader, and have faith in the business woman that I know I am. 

The Power of Culture

I've spent a lot of time in work environments that were unhealthy.  Between working 24/7, being verbally harassed, and colleagues pitted against each other - I've never been part of a work culture that I enjoyed.  Being in sports I mostly assumed this was what I was going to have to deal with if I chose to stay in the entertainment events world.  But I also knew that I couldn't sustain a life where I felt exhausted, discouraged, and physically unhealthy. 

Flash forward to February of 2016.  I was yet again in a position that wasn't fulfilling and an environment that made me miserable.  At this point I even started to think I may be the problem.  I had been unhappy in my new role since about the second month I arrived.  I began looking for a new job about month three.  And in month six - I was "laid off due to budget concerns."  Realistically it was the only way they could get rid of me because technically I was doing a great job but I was pushing back against the culture and the role that was not as promised.  As stressful as it was to be in the position I was in, I felt relief not having to go back to that job for one more day.

The day I was let go I made myself a promise.  I was going to focus my efforts on finding a role with a company that was the right fit culturally.  I was going to ask more questions, do more research and refuse to settle until it felt right.  I was turned down for jobs I thought were perfect and I turned down jobs that would have been just fine but weren't going to provide me the environment I craved.

Six months later I accepted a position with a company that I spent a good four weeks interviewing with.  I researched the company on Glassdoor, I reached out to contacts and learned firsthand what the company was like to be at, and I asked the questions they say you're not supposed to ask in interviews.  I made it clear a work life balance was important to me.  I spoke openly about my past environment issues and emphasized the importance of being somewhere with a culture I believed in and felt valued in.  And when four weeks later, on Christmas Eve, when I was offered the position - the way in which it was offered - the offer itself that the team worked hard to be able to offer me - the emphasis on how even though the other candidate has more direct agency experience but they felt a better connection with me - everything about it felt right. 

Almost three months later I still feel that same confidence in the choice I made.  From day one the responsibility I've been given, the way in which my personal time is respected, the way people interact with each other - is a complete 180 from anything I've ever experienced in a company.  I work a lot, especially with my travel schedule recently, but I don't feel the same emotional exhaustion that I've dealt with in the past.  The standards are high, the expectations even higher, the level of talent in one place is above and beyond anywhere I've been - and it creates a level of trust, competition, and excitement that makes coming to work fun.  My days fly by and are often chaotic, but I'm never bored and I'm always learning.

Sure, it's early in the game.  I've made the mistake of thinking things were rainbows and unicorns too early before.  And this could be something that doesn't workout.  But now that I know the possibility of happiness at work is a thing - I'm even more determined to stick with my never settle mentality.  Because its not me.  I am good at what I do, I'm a MF delight to be around, and I work hard.  Of course I still have a little PTSD and have my moments of doubt in myself.  And no, contrary to popular belief, I am not perfect, I screw up.  I still stress myself out for no reason.  And I am learning to get my confidence back in who I am at work.  But all the abuse, the misery, the years of never giving up - they're worth it.  My journey isn't traditional.  My path is often lonely.  But it's something I fiercely believe in and each day of happiness reinforces my belief that the dream is worth fighting for. 

Whatever the dream job and environment is for you - it's out there.  It's not easy to find.  It's often long and exhausting.  But giving up, taking the easy road, staying in the bad situation - that's not how you achieve the dream.  Don't give up.  Don't stop showing up.  And don't ever let anyone keep you from what makes your soul shine.