Panicked

It is obviously a very strange and stressful time in our world right now. Everywhere we turn there is more scary news about the Coronavirus. And that’s causing a panic.

We should absolutely be taking this very seriously. It is a very serious virus and has proven to shut down entire nations. But there is absolutely no reason to panic.

I obviously life with anxiety. And I’m scared too because I have a compromised immune system.

I am also a realist. And I care about myself and others. So I am choosing not to panic. I am also choosing to self quarantine. You should be doing these things as well.

If you have anxiety, this is a challenge. So let’s talk about to make it easier.

Limit Exposure

I mean this literally by social distancing but I also mean in the form of a digital detox. Stay informed with reputable and real sources (aka stop listening to the White House), but limit the amount of negative information you are exposing yourself to. Log off social media where a lot of the information available is wrong. Turn the channel if you’ve already spent time updating yourself for the day. The more you take in the content that is negative, the more you will panic. Turn it off, turn off the thing that is exacerbating your anxiety.

Stay Occupied

Distractions are everything. Been meaning to clean out your closet and donate old clothes? Is that book your friend recommended gathering dust on your bedside table? Still have that Pilates class waiting in your DVR? Do those things. Choose positive distractions during this time. Do all the things we all put off in our regular busy lives. And if it doesn’t bring you joy, don’t do it.

Create a Safe Space

You’re going to be spending a lot of time at home. Put in the work to make it a safe and comfortable space for you. Prepare with the supplies you need (prepare, NOT panic), make a cozy space, clean and organize. Do everything you need to do in order to feel joy and calm in your space. The more you feel “at home” the easier it is to actually spend well, all of your time there.

Invest in the right kind of social

No, not social media. We are social beings, we need that connection. FaceTime your family and friends. Text with them. Send cards, emails, tag the memes! Continue to remain connected in a healthy low risk way to the people that are important to you. Even the most introverted person in the world is not going to survive with no human contact.

Keep moving

My fitness game the last week has been on point. Get outside. Go for a walk (if you’re in a suburban or rural area, city kids sorry - keep your workouts at home), sit outside, get a workout class in (virtually). Mental health is connected to physical health. Don’t sit too long. Don’t sleep all day. Get moving.

Eat healthy

Again, health body, healthy mind. You can still order groceries online. Cool healthy meals. Eat healthy snacks. You’ve got time to show your Pinterest board the recipes you’ve been saving are actually going to be out to use. Sure, indulge, but eat as healthy as you can.

I know, things seem bleak right now. Things are hard. They’re straight up not fun. And for a lot of people, they are terrifying. Show up for yourself and others by doing the right thing. Stay home. Be kind. Help others where you can. We will get through this, but we have to do it together.

Perfection

Growing up my safe space has always been to aim for perfection. When I fall short of that, I dwell in a really negative space. If I make a mistake at work, I say something unkind — I am not able to let that go.

Perfection is not attainable. It is not real. It’s not even really cool.

Yet at 34, I still cannot run far from that need to be perfect.

Growing up an athlete, it is ingrained in you to be the best at everything. And if you’re not the best, you work harder until you are. I have carried that throughout my adult life. It’s exhausting.

I spend a lot of time in therapy learning to cut myself a break. Because in reality, I’m not perfect and I never will be.

Something I have started is spending time talking positively to myself, about myself. I’m supposed to work to make at least 50% of the thoughts in my head positive. That sounds easy but I’d say 90% of my thoughts are not kind.

Every time I speak negatively in my head to myself, I am challenging myself to say something positive to counter that mean thought.

Being a perfectionist with anxiety is a bit of a curse, and it truly doesn’t work. Especially given that I often don’t have a filter. Retraining you’re mind to focus on the good, well it just makes the good better. It amplifies the sparkle and makes your whole world shine.

I know I’m not alone. A lot of former athletes (and a lot of humans in general) relate to the need to be perfect. It’s all we know to strive for.

What if we changed the narrative and strived to be great as we are? If we focused on how badass we are? If we let ourselves be flawed and be thankful for that?

I challenge you to spend more time living and less time focusing on how to live perfectly. When you thrive in spaces that are uncomfortable — you might just find some of the most magical moments of your life.

A Plan for the Plan

I am Type A.  I am a control freak.  I'll make a list with an item on it that includes a plan to make another list.  I don't just have a plan B, I've got a plan A-Z prepared with addendums for each.  This is all wonderful for my career as an event planner but in life, its the biggest burden.

Since I can remember I've had a plan for my life.  I was going to go to a D1 school, run track, graduate in 4 years, attend law school, be married at 22, kids by 25.  I was going to be a sports agent.  Married to an athlete.  The problem with life is that it rarely follows your plan.  And I'm so very thankful for that.   

I did go to college, I ran D1 track and I graduated in four.  But that was the only part of the plan I checked off.  In between those four years I endured injuries and illnesses that kept me from competing, let alone at a level that contributed to my team's successes (Shoutout to my Aggies!).  I experienced violence, loss, silent struggles - and they changed who I am.  I began to see how little I could actually plan for.  Life showed me the only thing I can plan for is how to adapt.  So I graduated - and I learned something - I'm a lot different than I was when I made that plan.  I didn't want to go to law school, didn't want to be a sports agent.  I was nowhere near wanting to be married or thinking about kids.  I was 21 and I wanted to make a new plan.  And since then - my plan has evolved, I've evolved, and I've learned to let go of the plan a little bit more with each adventure.

Fast forward, I'm 30.  I'm not in a serious relationship, I'm not having kids, and I'm in the middle of a huge risk in my career path.  I'm the opposite of the plan.  And that's both really scary and really exciting.  At 21 I was unsure of myself, of my career path, and had no business thinking about marriage.  So at 30 its great to be in a place that I like where I'm at, where I'm headed, and most importantly, I really like myself.  

So ladies (and gents), I applaud you if you are 21, married, and happy.  I applaud you if you're 42, single, and happy.  I applaud you if you're 22 and in your dream job and I applaud you if you're 65 and going back to school. The point of it all, is be happy.  Don't plan so much.  Enjoy the twists in your plot.  I'm still going to make plans and lists - but I'll be more okay when I have to abandon those plans for the next adventure.  Because as much and I'm terrified of the unknown - I'm equally as excited to go on my next journey, wherever that may be.