Covid, Season Three

Not surprisingly, Covid was renewed for a third season. While I don’t think we will ever have any form of a lock down again, I do think many of us compassionate and responsible folks will be spending a lot of time at home, again.

Given we did all the things they told us to do for self care about a year and a half ago, I don’t think the tried and true are going to help. It’s really hard to journal your way out of the anxiety that comes with 800,000 people dying in such a short time. It’s even more impossible for Zoom happy hours to fix the sadness that comes with watching so many lives ruined by police brutality and racism. So what do we do?

I don’t have the answers, I’m feeling pretty overwhelmed myself. But I’m about solutions, so I’d like to offer some.

Therapy

I am a huge advocate of therapy. Professional help in such serious times is so so critical to maintaining good mental health. I do realize therapy is a privilege not everyone can afford. There are resources to help (and again, I realize these aren’t possible for everyone). Check in with your company about FREE or insurance covered option. Check out local colleges and universities who offer the same from students studying to be therapists. There are also community resources for free specifically for at risk and youth persons. If you’re a healthcare worker, many app services are offering free or low cost support. It may take some researching, but there are options.

Get Outside

This has been huge for me. Get outside. Sit, walk, run, hike - whatever level of activity you can engage in, do it. The sunshine, smells and natural environment will help ground you. If you’re in a city, is there a park you can walk to? Can you take public transportation or drive to somewhere that does have nature? Can you put some headphones on with a podcast and sit on your balcony? Whatever small amount of outside time you can get, take it.

Turn off Electronics

Get offline. Log off social media. Turn off the TV. There are so many stimulants lately between news and social media and the news is not always good. Shut it all off. Grab a book, color, paint, listen to music, talk to a friend, walk, drink water, disengage from the madness and find ways to reconnect with tangible things or people.

Spend Time with Loved Ones

If you’ve got a quaranteam, meetup with them (safely). Being able to talk and spend time with the people who fill up your joy is so important during this time. If you can do it while walking, cooking a meal, or something else that keeps you off your electronics - do that!

What are you doing to stay sane in year three?

This One is for the Homeowners!

I’m a new home owner (YAY!) and it is finally time for me to invest in quality home furnishings. I always said I wouldn’t spend a lot on home decor or furniture until I bought a home. It seemed like such a waste to invest when my things were being dragged to a new home every other year.

I still believe in a mix of new and thrift goods. Certainly I’m not about to buy a used mattress, but things like dressers and side tables can easily be found and mixed with some DIY to make a fresh an unique piece.

So where am I shopping? Let’s see the list!

West Elm

West Elm is classic. I love the quality and the customer service. Of course there are some pieces I find overpriced but if you pay attention, they have some amazing sales. Everything also either comes assembled or they’ll do it for you in home. For me, that’s a huge win. I also had them deliver a wrong bed to me and they fixed the issue immediately. I’ve invested in a bed, rugs, a dining table, coffee table, and side table from here and they’ve been worth it for these staples.

Interior Define

I came across this gem from a random Google search. They were having a pop up in my area so I stopped by. I love the quality and the fact that you can customize so many elements of the furniture you buy. I bought a custom sofa in a super durable pet friendly fabric that is a bit mid century modern and fits my aesthetic. With all my customization and a discount, it was under $2500. Couches are expensive so this felt like a deal. I’m also going to buy an over sized accent chair from ID.

Real Rooms

This was another Google find! I needed new dining table chairs and kept finding ones I liked but for around $300 each. As someone who barely uses her dining table. I wasn’t willing to spend that much on chairs. I took a chance and ordered some gorgeous cognac faux leather (you guessed it, mid century modern) chairs. They’re SO well made, SO comfortable and I only paid about $200 for four!

Crate and Barrel

A classic for sure! I have found super simple and reasonably priced (on sale!) small decor items as well as cups/plates/silverware. I like staple pieces to be super classic and neutral. I spice up my decor with the cheaper accent items that are easily replaced when I’m wanting a change. Crate and Barrel is amazing quality and has your everyday classic clean line items.

Amazon

I know, I hate giving Amazon money too, so I try my hardest to not spend too much here, but look, we all do it. I’ve found a ton of great storage solutions on Amazon. As much as I’d like to buy it all at The Container Store, I am not a billionaire. Amazon has some incredible quality organizational pieces for pantry, bathroom and even closet. Often for 1/3 or even 1/2 of the price of pieces at The Container Store.

Local Thrift Stores

I bought a solid oak night stand for $30 at my local Goodwill. For another $15 I bought wood stain and drawer pulls and I’ve got a gorgeous mid century modern night stand for under $50. There’s a similar one I had been eyeing at West Elm for over $200. Thrifting is not for the faint of heart. You have to be willing to invest time and energy to keep looking until you snag a unicorn. But, the amount of money saved and the ability to customize to exactly what you want is well worth it in my opinion.

Consignment Stores

Consignment stores are like a little upgrade to thrift stores. The pieces are more gently used or sometimes even new! Things are more expensive than thrift stores but there’s a much larger and better selection. Really great place to find rugs and couches super gently used if you really can’t swing for full price new.

Use what you have!

I actually utilize my own pictures that I’ve taken on trips and frame them (pro tip: there are some awesome gently used frames at thrift stores!) as my decor. I love that I get to see the trips that bring me joy and it’s a really inexpensive way to decorate. Plus, most of my furniture is neutral so my photos add much needed pops of color. I also have some really incredible family heirlooms, like my grandma’s vanity that I’m re-purposing into a bar cart. I love pieces that have a story and meaning to me, makes my home feel more special.

Where are you shopping for your home decor? Share!

Career Journey, Pivot

My entire life has been about overachieving. When my athletic career ended, I focused my overachieving on my career. And ever since I entered the workforce in 2007, my focus has been to do more.

Recently, I realized how tired I am and how little a title means to me. I am still committed to excellence and I will always take pride in being good at what I do, but I want more out of life than a title.

Instead of looking at what’s next. What title, what company, I’m more focused on what job affords me the most joy. Money matters because my life is expensive, but only to a point that I have the time and space to spend the money experiencing life.

It’s such an incredible shift for me to not care about that next title. I truly could not care less about what I’m called. I want to be challenged, I want growth, I want to be paid what I’m worth and then I want to have the space to create boundaries.

Boundaries are what allow me to thrive at work and in my personal life.

I spent so many years without boundaries. Work was my priority. I set aside a lot of joy to push myself at work. And it hasn’t necessarily paid off. Sure, I’ve held some incredible roles at some big companies. But it hasn’t necessarily put me ahead of my peers. A lot of getting ahead is about who you know and being strategic. Hard work doesn’t always translate to success.

I would absolutely call myself successful in my career, but I would also caution not to idolize my grind because of what I gave up to get where I’ve been.

At this point in my life, I’m taking a pivot to joy. If what I’m doing isn’t bringing me joy most days, I’m leaving. If the environment I’m in is more stressful and unhealthy than not, I’m leaving. And I’m running to places that provide me what I need in life - joy. Joy, respect for boundaries and places I can have most of it all.

There is no having it all, but you can have most of it.

I’m not sure what’s next or what all this sudden change of heart is going to lead to. But for the first time in my life, I’m ok with that.

New Year, Same Sparkle

It’s that time of year! New Year, same sparkle! That’s right, it’s the time we celebrate all that’s happened in 2021 and look forward to the fresh year that is 2022.

If you’re looking for resolutions and declarations of change, this is not the blog for you. I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions.

2021 gets 4/5 stars. Which is really weird to think about because I had so much struggle with my mental and physical health. But I also moved back to Colorado, where I’ve wanted to come back to for almost 10 years and I bought my first home, something I never thought I’d achieve.

It’s been one of those years that makes no sense. A giant roller coaster of “life is amazing” immediately followed by “WTF is happening.”

I’ve continued the journey of being more open about my mental health, growing into a better version than I was the day before, and investing my time and energy into the things that bring me joy.

I’ve been really committed to the simplicity that can be found in asking “does this make me happy.” If it doesn’t, if a person doesn’t, I release it. If it does, I invest more time in it.

I’ve had a major shift in my career goals. I’m uninterested in leveling up in title or responsibility and instead deeply value showing up somewhere that is healthy and that challenges me but respects my personal time. I want to do big things at home just as much as I do at work. I finally get it.

The theme of the year has honestly been simply to experience the most joy I possibly can. And when I can’t, to be kind, patient and empathetic to myself until I can experience joy.

I have been more selfish. And I love that.

I have changed so much in the last year and I’m so excited about where I am going.

In 2022, I want more of 2021. Maybe less surprise negatives, but certainly more of the growth, joy and adventure.

I want to travel more (pending covid), write more, connect more, share more and be overall MORE. I want to catch more sunsets, log more miles up new mountains, hug more of my loved ones, laugh every single day and chase all the dreams I now realize are beyond possible.

I hope that 2022 brings me a new year filled with all the same sparkles that make me the person I am. And I hope that you get lots of the same.

Cheers!

Back to our regularly scheduled programming...

It’s been almost 6 months since I published a blog. In the almost 6 years I’ve been writing, that’s the longest break I’ve ever taken.

The last 6 months have been filled with really high highs and really low lows. I moved states, bought my first home, fell out of love with a job, had to deal with a past job being very much in the spotlight (and bringing up old traumas), had a tumor removed in my breast - and so much more.

Life became really overwhelming. Blogging felt like a chore. So I stopped.

I blog because it’s a form of therapy for me. When it stopped being therapeutic, I knew I needed a break.

I’m still dealing with some of the heavy things I had been throughout these 6 months. I am however I think dealing with them in a much healthier way.

I’m not sure if this will go back to being a weekly thing for me. I do want to get back to writing, but I want to make sure it stays fun. I want to make sure I’m continuing to focus on balance and not doing all the things all the time.

We all know I love a list. So I wanted to make a list of some of the things I’ve learned in my time away…

  1. Rest is not only ok, it is required in order to thrive

  2. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for why you choose to change and grow

  3. Your goals are allowed to change. Your priorities are allowed to change

  4. The people that make you feel bad in life aren’t your people. Stay away from them

  5. The people who make you feel like sunshine are your tribe. Keep them close

  6. Be selfish. Put yourself first

  7. Life is complicated. Some years are full of utter devastation and intense wins. That’s confusing. It’s ok to sit with that.

  8. If you don’t ask for what you want, you won’t get it

  9. Careers don’t define you. Titles don’t mean much. You can pivot at any time

  10. Your time is valuable. Never forget how important it is.

I’ve had a super confusing year. It’s been a lot of BIG changes. I never really sat to experience all that’s happened and that means I’ve missed a lot of unpacking the emotions with it all. Some days I can’t get over how lucky I am. Other days I want to quit everything and move to a new country. I kind of think that’s life for a lot of us these past two years.

I hope my passion for writing and the words come back to me in droves now that I’ve got a better handle on things. But if they don’t, that’s ok too.

For the time being, we are back to our regularly scheduled programming here.

You're So Strong

My whole life I’ve been told how strong I am. When something bad happens I’m reminded how strong I am. When I am devastated, I’m reminded about everything I’ve been through.

And that’s all true. I am strong. I can do anything. But that doesn’t mean I should have to. It doesn’t mean things are easier for me.

More and more lately, I’m tired of being the one that’s strong. I’m tired of being expected to be that way and I’m tired of being reminded of it.

People that are strong usually are that way because they’ve had to learn how to be.

That’s something that people tend to forget.

And the people that are strongest tend to be the ones everyone forgets to ask about. It’s assumed we are ok. Because truthfully, we always will be. Yet it doesn’t mean we always are in that moment. We struggle to. And we often don’t know how to talk about it.

More and more, I’m not accepting the role of being the strong one. I’m speaking up and those who don’t like it, they aren’t for me.

I am strong, so strong. I am also human. So very human.

An Update

I started this blog five years ago! I know! Since then, I’ve moved three more times, changed industries, fallen in love with who I am, been in and out of relationships — whew — it’s been a journey.

And it’s been so much fun. But more and more, I’m finding blogging a chore more than a joy.

So I’ve made a decision. Instead of promising a blog weekly, I’m going to cut back. I might blog every other week, I might blog once a month — I’m going to blog when it feels right and when I truly want to say something.

I’m finally back in my dream city, working on buying my first condo, working at a company I genuinely enjoy, I’m in love with who I am and where I’m going, I’m spending less time online and more time living.

I’m also chasing dreams that I’ve put to the side for years. Like writing a book. And traveling the world more and more. And connecting on a deeper level with the people that are important to me. I’m cooking more — and genuinely enjoying a healthy relationship with food. I’m working out because I love how it makes me feel — not because I want it to change my body. I’m stepping away from work as my primary focus, and I’m detaching from the idea that my work makes me any more valuable as a person.

I’m living my best life and it feels incredible.

I’m not sure what my journey has in store. But I do know, if it’s not bringing me joy, I’m going to let it go. My whole focus is building a life that makes me happy.

So I thank those of you who have been reading for the last five years. I hope you’ll stick with me as I develop a new relationship with blogging.

Writing is deeply healing for me, and this blog has proven I’ll never be able to give it up. Who knows, maybe published author is in my future…

Until then…sparkle on sequins!

Book Club, Episode 6,832

Y’all it has been a minute since we’ve had us a little book club. Have no fear, I have not stopped reading. In fact, I’m still getting through at least a book a week. I’m also about to go on my first solo international vacation and you bet I plan to be beach side with a book. So let’s talk my favorite reads or what I’m excited about reading in the near future!


Fun Beach Reads

Guncle

Patrick, or Gay Uncle Patrick (GUP, for short), has always loved his niece, Maisie, and nephew, Grant. That is, he loves spending time with them when they come out to Palm Springs for weeklong visits, or when he heads home to Connecticut for the holidays. But in terms of caretaking and relating to two children, no matter how adorable, Patrick is, honestly, overwhelmed.

So when tragedy strikes and Maisie and Grant lose their mother and Patrick's brother has a health crisis of his own, Patrick finds himself suddenly taking on the role of primary guardian. Despite having a set of "Guncle Rules" ready to go, Patrick has no idea what to expect, having spent years barely holding on after the loss of his great love, a somewhat-stalled acting career, and a lifestyle not-so-suited to a six- and a nine-year-old. Quickly realizing that parenting--even if temporary--isn't solved with treats and jokes, Patrick's eyes are opened to a new sense of responsibility, and the realization that, sometimes, even being larger than life means you're unfailingly human.

With the humor and heart we've come to expect from bestselling author Steven Rowley, The Guncle is a moving tribute to the power of love, patience, and family in even the most trying of times

Malibu Rising

Malibu: August 1983. It’s the day of Nina Riva’s annual end-of-summer party, and anticipation is at a fever pitch. Everyone wants to be around the famous Rivas: Nina, the talented surfer and supermodel; brothers Jay and Hud, one a championship surfer, the other a renowned photographer; and their adored baby sister, Kit. Together the siblings are a source of fascination in Malibu and the world over—especially as the offspring of the legendary singer Mick Riva.

The only person not looking forward to the party of the year is Nina herself, who never wanted to be the center of attention, and who has also just been very publicly abandoned by her pro tennis player husband. Oh, and maybe Hud—because it is long past time for him to confess something to the brother from whom he’s been inseparable since birth.

Jay, on the other hand, is counting the minutes until nightfall, when the girl he can’t stop thinking about promised she’ll be there.

And Kit has a couple secrets of her own—including a guest she invited without consulting anyone.

By midnight the party will be completely out of control. By morning, the Riva mansion will have gone up in flames. But before that first spark in the early hours before dawn, the alcohol will flow, the music will play, and the loves and secrets that shaped this family’s generations will all come rising to the surface.

Malibu Rising is a story about one unforgettable night in the life of a family: the night they each have to choose what they will keep from the people who made them . . . and what they will leave behind.

Exciting Mysteries

Eight Perfect Murders

Years ago, bookseller and mystery aficionado Malcolm Kershaw compiled a list of the genre’s most unsolvable murders, those that are almost impossible to crack—which he titled “Eight Perfect Murders”—chosen from among the best of the best including Agatha Christie’s A. B. C. Murders, Patricia Highsmith’s Strangers on a Train, Ira Levin’s Deathtrap, A. A. Milne's The Red House Mystery, Anthony Berkeley Cox's Malice Aforethought, James M. Cain's Double Indemnity, John D. MacDonald's The Drowner, and Donna Tartt's The Secret History.

But no one is more surprised than Mal, now the owner of the Old Devils Bookstore in Boston, when an FBI agent comes knocking on his door one snowy day in February. She’s looking for information about a series of unsolved murders that look eerily similar to the killings on Mal’s old list. And the FBI agent isn’t the only one interested in this bookseller who spends almost every night at home reading. The killer is out there, watching his every move—a diabolical threat who knows way too much about Mal’s personal history, especially the secrets he’s never told anyone, even his recently deceased wife.

To protect himself, Mal begins looking into possible suspects . . . and sees a killer in everyone around him. But Mal doesn’t count on the investigation leaving a trail of death in its wake. Suddenly, a series of shocking twists leaves more victims dead—and the noose around Mal’s neck grows so tight he might never escape.

Finlay Donovan is Killing It

Finlay Donovan is killing it . . . except, she’s really not. She’s a stressed-out single-mom of two and struggling novelist, Finlay’s life is in chaos: the new book she promised her literary agent isn’t written, her ex-husband fired the nanny without telling her, and this morning she had to send her four-year-old to school with hair duct-taped to her head after an incident with scissors.

When Finlay is overheard discussing the plot of her new suspense novel with her agent over lunch, she’s mistaken for a contract killer, and inadvertently accepts an offer to dispose of a problem husband in order to make ends meet . . . Soon, Finlay discovers that crime in real life is a lot more difficult than its fictional counterpart, as she becomes tangled in a real-life murder investigation.

Fast-paced, deliciously witty, and wholeheartedly authentic in depicting the frustrations and triumphs of motherhood in all its messiness, hilarity, and heartfelt moment, Finlay Donovan Is Killing It is the first in a brilliant new series from YA Edgar Award nominee Elle Cosimano.

Jackpot (Part of the Stone Barrington/Teddy Fay series)

When Peter Barrington and Ben Bachetti come under threat while working at a film festival abroad, Teddy Fay is lured to the glittering city of Macau to resolve the problem. He'll soon come to find that world of posh casinos, luxurious developments, and boundless wealth has a dark underbelly of crime and political intrigue . . . and that the biggest players behind the scenes may be far closer to home than anticipated. With international deals and private vendettas at stake, the villains behind the plot aren't about to let Teddy stand in their way. What they don't know is that this seemingly harmless film producer has more than a few tricks up his sleeve.

Always Learning

Let the Record Show

The first time I heard about ACT UP — the organization that formed to demand that the political establishment and scientific community take action on AIDS — was nine years after it was founded, when activist David Reid poured the ashes of a friend who’d died of the disease onto the White House lawn in 1996. “If you won’t come to the funeral,” he said, “we’ll bring the funeral to you.” The act was shocking to my 12-year-old self, but it’s not nearly as shocking as the history of neglect, contempt, and disgust for the gay community that thinker, archivist, and ACT UP activist Sarah Schulman writes about in Let the Record Show, a necessarily expansive and bombastic corrective of modern history. Using years of interviews and her own vast inside knowledge (the Times’ Parul Sehgal called Schulman “a living archive”), Schulman charts ACT UP’s highly effective barricade-storming tactics, eventual sway over drug companies, and early ’90s fracture. Let the Record Show is as righteous and revelatory as its subject matter.

Hola Papi

From popular LGBTQ advice columnist and writer John Paul Brammer comes a hilarious, heartwarming memoir-in-essays chronicling his journey growing up as a queer, mixed-race kid in America’s heartland to becoming the “Chicano Carrie Bradshaw” of his generation.The first time someone called John Paul (JP) Brammer “Papi” was on the popular gay hookup app Grindr. At first, it was flattering; JP took this as white-guy speak for “hey, handsome.” Who doesn’t want to be called handsome? But then it happened again and again…and again, leaving JP wondering: Who the hell is Papi?

What started as a racialized moniker given to him on a hookup app soon became the inspiration for his now wildly popular advice column “¡Hola Papi!”, launching his career as the Cheryl Strayed for young queer people everywhere—and some straight people too. JP had his doubts at first—what advice could he really offer while he himself stumbled through his early 20s? Sometimes the best advice to dole outcomes from looking within, which is what JP has done in his column and book—and readers have flocked to him for honest, heartfelt wisdom, and of course a few laughs. In ¡Hola Papi!, JP shares his story of growing up biracial and in the closet against the backdrop of America’s heartland, while attempting to answer some of life’s toughest questions: How do I let go of the past? How do I become the person I want to be? Is there such a thing as being too gay? Should I hook up with my grade school bully now that he’s out of the closet? Questions we’ve all asked ourselves, surely. With wit and wisdom in equal measure, ¡Hola Papi! is for anyone—gay, straight, and everything in between—who has ever taken stock of their unique place in the world, offering considered advice, intelligent discourse, and fits of laughter along the way. As #1 New York Times bestselling author Shea Serrano says: “I loved ¡Hola Papi! I’m certain you will too.

Four Hundred Souls

A chorus of extraordinary voices comes together to tell one of history’s great epics: the four-hundred-year journey of African Americans from 1619 to the present—edited by Ibram X. Kendi, author of How to Be an Antiracist, and Keisha N. Blain, author of Set the World on Fire.The story begins in 1619—a year before the Mayflower—when the White Lion disgorges “some 20-and-odd Negroes” onto the shores of Virginia, inaugurating the African presence in what would become the United States.

It takes us to the present, when African Americans, descendants of those on the White Lion and a thousand other routes to this country, continue a journey defined by inhuman oppression, visionary struggles, stunning achievements, and millions of ordinary lives passing through extraordinary history. Four Hundred Souls is a unique one-volume “community” history of African Americans. The editors, Ibram X. Kendi and Keisha N. Blain, have assembled ninety brilliant writers, each of whom takes on a five-year period of that four-hundred-year span. The writers explore their periods through a variety of techniques: historical essays, short stories, personal vignettes, and fiery polemics. They approach history from various perspectives: through the eyes of towering historical icons or the untold stories of ordinary people; through places, laws, and objects. While themes of resistance and struggle, of hope and reinvention, course through the book, this collection of diverse pieces from ninety different minds, reflecting ninety different perspectives, fundamentally deconstructs the idea that Africans in America are a monolith—instead it unlocks the startling range of experiences and ideas that have always existed within the community of Blackness. This is a history that illuminates our past and gives us new ways of thinking about our future, written by the most vital and essential voices of our present

What are you reading in 2021? Let me know!

Solo Adventures

I’ve always wanted to travel abroad alone and never actually done it. It was always significantly cheaper and easier to travel with someone else, so that’s what I’ve done.

But now - in a short week - I’m heading off on a beach retreat all by myself. And I’m beyond excited for the adventure.

Traveling alone as a woman is tricky. It’s being extra mindful of safety and doing the research to make sure wherever we go, we are super aware. I can’t just show up in a country with no advance planning.

I’ve always been someone who plans ahead and is very good at finding my own way. I think because I traveled a lot on my own for work I got really used to having to figure out everything. When we travel abroad, I’m the one you can count on to know where to go, what areas to avoid, where to eat, where to closest embassy is — I am always prepared.

So traveling abroad is really just another normal trip for me. Nevertheless, I am excited to take this next step. It builds my confidence to know that I can do hard things. That I can find my own way.

Ultimately it makes me a better me and makes my life more fulfilling.

The more you do things on your own, the more you truly grow and become your best you. My best advice to women in 2021 is to be your own lifeline. Have strong connections to the people that make you happy, but build skills so at the end of the day — you truly know you are connected to people because you want to be, not because you need to be. It makes you a better friend, partner, employee — it makes you better in every single aspect of life.

It’s ok to rely on others. It’s ok to ask for help. It’s ok to pay someone to do the jobs you don’t want to do. But at the end of the day, be confident that you don’t have to do those things, you’re choosing to.

Self reliance is the best thing I ever did for myself. It’s molded me into one confident and badass woman. And every step I can take to grow that feeling, you bet I’ll be doing it.

Bon Voyage Sequins!

Change Up

The generation of working somewhere for 30 years and retire is gone. Millenials and the tech industry changed the game for how we work. There’s no longer this expectation of committing your life to a company that isn’t committed to you.

Because of that, I’m here to tell you — have the courage to start over.

If you’re unhappy where you are, leave. If you have been in one industry your entire life and it’s not making you happy, switch industries. Are you 40 and just figured out you’re super passionate about writing but you work in sales? Start writing.

I used to question the way in which I’ve left companies for the next opportunity. I’ve been accused of chasing something that doesn’t exist. The thing is, I seem to be doing quite well. I’m also good at what I do and bring a lot to the table. Sure, everyone is replaceable at some point, but I’m hard to replace.

And I’ve had some incredible jobs working for dream companies. I’ve had once in a life time experiences all because I ignored what people told me and did what was best for me — what made me happy.

That is finally what I listen to. And that is the only voice I listen to.

Believe me, I’ve had the other voices. I’ve been told I’m ruining my career. I’ve been told I’ll never get hired with how often I’ve changed jobs. I’ve heard it all. And you know what? None of it came true. Because I know who I am and what I bring to the table. I know that I can do anything and I’ve got the work ethic to back it up.

Life is short. We spend a lot of time at work. If you are unhappy, move on. Make a change. Be strategic, but make moves. If you are unhappy, it’s of your own doing. Bet on yourself. Put the work in for yourself. Invest in yourself.

SURE - there are circumstances. Often times you have to take a shitty job to get to the better job. I get it, it’s easier said than done. But doing nothing, that leads to nothing. Take steps, even small steps. Make a plan and go do it. If you fall, dust yourself off and pivot again.

Most of all, have the courage to hit them with a change up. It’s your life and you have to live those 24 hours each day. What life are you going to lead? Where are you going to go?