Life is like a roller coaster. It's a series of ups and downs, highs and lows, twists and turns - you are never always on top and you are never stuck at the bottom.
There is a lot of pressure in society to constantly be on. To define success by always being in a great place. But in reality - life is in constant transition. You cannot possibly always have it all and to pretend you do is a really sad, exhausting lie.
In my past - I have fallen victim to the pressure to prove myself. To show those around me that I am in fact successful because I'm always onto the next step. Truthfully, I've had some incredible success, failures, and unfortunate lessons that weren't really a success or a failure. I've been laid off, accepted my dream job, been unemployed for 6 months, made a Division One track program, been consistently injured, felt incredible about myself, and been at the absolute bottom of the bottom.
The point is - stop trying to be anything to anyone but yourself. Stop pressuring yourself to prove you're a success to the masses and start focusing on how you define success for yourself.
I used to define success by money and career status. The more I've grown and asked myself why I felt that way - the more I've learned that my success is surviving my struggles, finding joy, and creating relationships that make me feel good.
Do I want to have a successful career with financial stability? Absolutely. But I want a career that gives me passion, happiness - and fills my bank account so that I can travel and spend time with my humans. I don't care if I'm the CEO of the Universe - that might impress Facebook, but if I'm unhappy, that's a failure.
Equally - a year ago I was laid off from a job I hated. I made the decision to move home because I didn't want to build a life in LA anymore and financially - I needed to be smarter. I was 31 and living at home. It took me 6 months to find a job I was willing to accept and build a future on. During that time - I was told by people very close to me that I was failing. That I had done so much only to fall so far. At first - I was mortified and started to believe what I was being told. But something happened - I also got really protective of myself. I did not consider myself failing. Was it easy? Was it where I wanted to be? Absolutely not. But I did not fail. I was not at my lowest low. I needed that time to regroup, make sure I was setting myself up for success financially, and to not rush into another bad situation. I am not embarrassed by that time in my life. It was part of my rollercoaster.
In relationships, in careers, in health and in happiness - life will not be a constant peak. You will fall and tumble and fall again. You will rise and stay so high and then plateau and peak again. Every single person in the world lives by this pattern. You are not unique in having the roller coaster experience. Take comfort in the fact that we all go through things that none of us see. And remember in that vain - because you can't see everyone's highs and lows - we are all fighting battles and celebrating successes you know nothing about.
You don't owe your story to anyone. You don't have to show the world anything but what you choose to share. The more you find the confidence to do what lights your world on fire - the less you need validation from society around you.
You are the one who has to live with each choice you make. The people you're trying so hard to show your amazing life to - they don't matter. They aren't part of your story, they're spectators to the world you present to them. What do you want your life to look like, feel like, and say to your soul?
