Spooky Szn

I thrive in the ‘ber months. Absolutely live in the most basic joyful way I possibly can. And October is the Super Bowl of the ‘ber months for me. It’s spooky season y’all! And I live laugh love for all that means. I want to watch the Disney greats, I want to craft to my heart’s content, I want to wear cozy sweaters and step on crunchy leaves. I’d like to hike and see every freaking color Colorado has to offer, have girl’s nights with takeout and blankets and read while it rains. Give me all of it. I’d love to share with you some of my October joys this season!

What I’m buying:

Rhinestone Pumpkins (mini pumpkins from Trader Joe’s and stick on rhinestones), DIY Bat Candles, Fall floral arrangements (buy various flowers from Trader Joe’s)

What I’m doing:

Hikes, Crunchy leaf walks, reading, cooking, girl’s craft nights, backyard movie nights, visiting apple farms, checking out glow at the botanical gardens and boo at the zoo, snuggling on the couch with movies

How are y’all thriving in October?

Summer Adventures 2022

After three years, I finally made it back to Europe! This trip was two weeks and started in Croatia, led to Paris, and ended in the Champagne region of France! It was absolutely incredible to get back to Europe and experience new cultures.

We also left the day Roe was overturned, so it was honestly a really emotional time and I was happy (and privileged) to leave the country. The state of America also came up quite a bit while we were abroad and I tried my best to answer questions thoughtfully as well as listen to the concerns of others about the United States. What does this have to do with travel tips? EVERYTHING. Travel is a privilege. Experiencing other cultures, meeting people who live life so differently than I do is WHY I do this. The more you can travel and experience other cultures, the more empathy and compassion you have for others. I am beyond lucky to get to do this. It matters to me to come back better for it (and to be a good human while I’m there). You are a GUEST, act like it.

Let’s talk some brief general travel tips!

Planning

I’m a planner for work and by nature. If I’m spending the money and time to fly across the world, I’m doing it right. We usually start planning about 6 months in advance. This allows us a better chance at finding reasonable flights, places to stay and get reservations at the restaurants we want to go to. Especially in a post Covid world (LOL, post covid…right!) where gas is expensive, everyone is traveling and others are planning up to a year in advance, having your shit together matters. Sure, you can wing it, but I know the things I want to see and do and I’m not willing to miss them, so I don’t take that chance.

Flights

  • Fly the airlines you have status with if you can. It might be a tad more expensive, but it’s worth it in the long run

  • Skyscanner is a great resource if you’re flexible and able to do some research

  • The Points Guy gives awesome tips/tricks/reviews for flying abroad

  • If you only have enough money to upgrade one way, upgrade your flight home. That’s when you’re more likely to be exhausted and ready to get home in comfort.

  • If you can’t afford to upgrade from economy at all, find the rows that don’t have anyone in front of you and snag the aisle seat (this is why you book in advance, get the best seats!)

  • Fly in the morning if you can, morning flights are less likely to be canceled and usually on time. Before 10AM is morning

Accommodations

  • I don’t stay in Air Bnb’s in the US, they’re usually where all the issues you’re seeing in the news occur

  • Air BnB’s abroad are fine but I look for folks with 4.8 stars or more and are super hosts or I don’t consider it. Read the reviews!

  • I'‘m a Marriott rewards member who saves their points. We were able to stay 3 nights free at a stunning resort in Dubrovnik (ocean view balcony room!) because of that. Use. Your. Points.

  • Stay places that provide you walk able access to the city you’re staying in.

Restaurants

  • Now that restaurants are open again, they book fast! Make reservations for every dinner. We even made some breakfast reservations and I’m glad we did

  • Do your research. Ask friends, check TripAdvisor, browse the blogger sites. The best restaurants book fast. And I’m not just talking the high end ones.

  • Be specific in your reservation. Ask for a table outdoors, with a view and then tip well when you get it

Activities

  • I love tours. I love boat tours, tours to National Parks, wine tours, all the things! Book them early and be strategic. Leave time between tour days for wandering the city or lounging on the beach

  • TripAdvisor has awesome tours with reviews and you know you’re booking with a reliable company

  • Read the reviews! Make sure they talk about locals running these tours so you’re getting really awesome info and the best experience possible

  • Bring cash to tip. I cannot emphasize this enough. Do not be the jerk who doesn’t tip!

Summer 2022 Trip Details

Croatia

Some basics:

  • Croatia is SO inexpensive. It will be on the Euro soon though so that won’t last long!

  • Dubrovnik was by far my favorite city. It felt more idyllic, clean and historic! Split felt really dirty, crowded, and touristy

Dubrovnik

Where we Stayed: Sheraton Dubrovnik (used points, we had a Twin sea view)

  • This property was 15 minutes by car from town, so it wasn’t walk able but it was less touristy, stunning and we were able to walk around some smaller villages that were clearly local. It was absolutely perfect to be able to easily access other areas of the city quickly and then retreat back to our quiet resort after

  • Splurge for the sea view, it’s stunning

  • The spa is WAY less expensive than in the US. I paid $90 for an hour and a half massage and it was easily the best massage of my life

Where we ate: Restaurant Marinero, Panorama Restaurant, Orsan at the Yacht Club, Konoba Bocana

  • Everywhere we ate was incredible. Not a bad meal.

  • Panorama has the best views ever, take the cable car and go for brunch EARLY. Get the first reservation you can and go enjoy coffee and a meal for hours

What we did: Pool day, spa day, Old Town exploring day! We tried to rent a small boat for the day by the hotel but didn’t reserve in advance so we lost out!

Split

Where we Stayed: This Air BnB. Highly recommend! It was walking distance to everything but wasn’t IN old town where it’s loud. HUGE size and the host was wonderful.

  • Don’t stay in the city center, it’s more expensive and super loud/chaotic

  • Everything is walk-able from where we stayed

  • If you’re there in later summer, ensure your place has AC or it’s unbearable!

Where we ate: Dvor (Michelin Star), Portofino, Bajamonti, Ma Toni, Kat’s Kitchen, Ciri Biri Bella (also a hostel if that’s your vibe!)

  • The best and cutest breakfast place was Ciri Biri Bella (we ate there twice!)

  • Dvor was amazing, great views, amazing staff but they were out of quite a few menu items when we went, so the experience wasn’t as good as it could have been

  • Portofino is the cutest little spot in between two buildings and was SUCH a romantic little setting

What we did: Plitvice Lake Tour, Speedboat Tour, Gooster Beach Club

  • Full transparency, if we didn’t have such fun excursions planned, we would have left Split early. It was not an interesting city for us at all

  • Plitvices has been on my bucket lit forever so I was beyond happy we did this. it is a LONG day so if it’s not on your bucket list and you don’t like walking or nature, it’s not for you!

  • The boat tour was hands down the most fun we had the entire trip. The guides we had were incredibly fun and knowledgeable and the islands were stunning. Bring water shoes, the beaches are all SO painfully rocky

  • Gooster is outside of town at Le Meridian and is not a party spot at all. It’s more for relaxing, lounging and getting sun. It was exactly what we wanted and super inexpensive to reserve beds with towels ($40 for the day)

France

Some Basics:

  • France is notoriously expensive

  • Paris is busy and restaurants require reservations because they’re so small!

Paris

This wasn’t my first time in Paris and we were there for such a short time, we did a TON of walking! We also met up with friends for drinks. Paris in July is beyond crowded. It didn’t interfere with the experience for us, but if you’re crowd adverse, it’s not a good time for you to go!

Where we stayed: This Air Bnb. I cannot recommend it enough. The location is PRIME in the middle of restaurants and shops and easy access to the rest of the city. It is also hidden so it’s quiet inside. The actual apartment is HUGE by Paris standards and extremely comfortable. No AC but the place stayed beyond comfortable and cool and the shower was enormous (which we know is rare in Paris!).

Note: It’s located on a street with sex shops so if you’re conservative, IDK, that might bother you. Please keep in mind, sex in Paris is not taboo or like how we treat it in the US. It was an awesome location and the hosts were AMAZING.

Where we ate: Pink Mamma, Seine Dinner Cruise, HollyBelly

  • Pink Mamma is a big “Instagram” spot. It’s the spot to go for cute photos and the line was out the door the entire time we were there. The food was DIVINE (drinks too!) but the service was atrocious. Truly nothing special and I don’t recommend it. There’s plenty of other places to have a better experience in Paris

  • HollyBelly is so cute and has the most delicious food! I would definitely go again

What we did: Seine Dinner Cruise, Walked 18 miles around the city!

  • The Seine dinner cruise might sound touristy, but locals actually recommend it too. It’s a great way to hit the hot spots from a different viewpoint. There was also a live singer, great food, and decent wine! Highly recommend it!

  • When I say we walked the whole city, I mean it! We got in 18 miles because it was our only real day in the city. It was fun to explore shops and see the sights, but definitely prefer to have time to explore more leisurely.

  • I recommend going to Luxembourg Gardens with some bread and wine and a book and people watching if you have half a day to do so

The Champagne Region

This was my second time doing a French wine region and did not disappoint. We stayed in Reim (pronounced Ranse), which is the largest city in the region. It has all of the gorgeous French architecture but is small, clean and very idyllic. It’s super easy to navigate and easy to access if you chose to just take the high speed train from Paris for the day.

Where we stayed: This perfect Air BnB. This location was perfection. Literally across from the train station and just a short walk to downtown. Between the train station and this building is also a gorgeous park we hung out in during the day. The host was the sweetest and most accommodating woman and the actual apartment was so cute!

Where we ate: Le Jardin (Michelin Star)

  • We stayed here only two nights and tbh, the other two places we ate were just ok so I haven’t listed them

  • Le Jardin was pure magic. Easily one of my favorite places we are on the trip. Divine food, gorgeous garden setting. Walk around the French Estate that’s also a hotel before dinner!

What we did: This wine tour

  • This was SO much fun! Our guide was a born and bred local who knew his stuff and made the day FUN.

  • You definitely get large tastings but also you learn a lot about how to select good champagne and a lot about the history of the region. Truly a really cool experience.

  • Choose a tour that shows you local smaller champagne houses as well as a big one. I loved the smaller houses a lot more!

Final Thoughts

We really crushed this trip from a planning perspective. Having reservations, planning out activities as well as down time was truly the best way to go. I really enjoyed that we were able to see and do everything we wanted without feeling rushed or exhausted. There’s nothing that I wish I had seen that we missed. And although I said I didn’t like Split, I’m really glad we went because the excursions we went on were a must do!

Next up? Wait and see…I’ve got some things in the works!

Milestones

I wanted to elaborate on milestones. As I mentioned last week, I’ve spent the last five yeas really reevaluating what life expectations actually align with what I want out of my time here.

Society does a lot to remind us that life is supposed to be an organized list of accomplishments.

You are born, you go to school, you get a job, you get married, you buy a house, you have some kids, you retire, you die. That’s the list and everything is required in a certain time frame or your society fairy will fine you and report you to the police. And then you will go to prison and die. These are the rules.

So like a lot of us who grew up with parents who did these things, I had these expectations for myself.

And then when I didn’t check these boxes in the time frame society told me to, I started to panic.

My society fairy would show up at 24 and tell me hey babe your friends from college are actually making 6 figures in the city and you’re making $32K and can’t afford top ramen most days.

At 26 she tapped me on the shoulder and said hey gorg, know that you’ve got a whole roster of men folk (love that for you) but you should have picked and married one by now. Meanwhile it’s Sunday at 9am and you’re grabbing your shoes from this guys floor and your cousin is picking you up because you left your car at the bar (we didn’t have uber then you little Gen z babies, the walk of shame was a true experience).

At 30 the bitch straight up called and said ok we have a problem. You’e 30, unmarried, not a millionaire and everyone else is on a private jet to Mykonos but you’re drunk at the Grand Canyon.

And now in a few months, at 35, my society fairy is going to bring a committee of society fairies to stage an intervention. 35 and gasp unmarried? NO children? You’re not a homeowner counting your big fat 401k from your Tesla SUV? HOW DARE YOU! The audacity.

But alas my friends, it is true. I’m going to be all of these things and more.

And I’d like to say to my society fairy and her panel of drag judges — we love it here.

Society has told me to do all the things and I truly thought I wanted and needed those things to live a complete and happy life. Without them surely I would be a failure and miserable human being. A curse upon my soul. A pox upon my overpriced apartment.

I’d like to let you in on a little secret — I’m neither of those things.

I am thriving. Some days sure, I don’t wash my hair, I wear dirty clothes, I spend all day eating cheese an chocolate and I don’t speak to other humans.

I like those parts of my life.

I like the life I have built and the experience I’m having here on Earth.

I am open to marriage most days, consider having kids about 1 day a month, and I do plan to buy a house soon. Maybe 2.

I also think that if you know me, the me that is authentically myself, it makes perfect sense to you that my wild spirit would never follow the rules of society. She’s too stubborn for that.

It makes no sense to me to think I would have been married in my 20’s when I was having the time of my life while simultaneously trying to be everything to everyone except myself.

It is unimaginable that I would trade the bucket list experiences I had in sports for a high powered city job and six figures.

When my society fairy taps me on the back these days, I tell her calm down babe, I’ll get to it. Or I won’t, I haven’t decided yet. But text me later k?

The whole point is that I am now in control. Or out of control? And I am more easily able to sit in uncomfortable feelings of falling behind and say is this a society fairy shoulder tap or how you’re really feeling? And if the answer is an authentic yearning for something, I go out there and make space for that thing in my life.

Milestones are incredible. They help create a full life. But are the milestones you have on your list ones that you have created or ones your society fairy has brought to you to fulfill?

Marinate in whatever space your society fairy sticks you in, but don’t stay there long. Hear the girl out, but don’t blindly follow her lead.

Build a life full of milestones that meet your expectations, make you proud, and make your journey feel full. That’s a life of milestones that matters.

I had an Epiphany

The other day, I was being very introspective and in my feels. And that led me to an epiphany.

I am at peace.

I’ve certainly got a long way to go to be completely comfortable in life and I have my very off days - but for the most part, I am simply at peace.

For a really long time (is this my favorite way to start a sentence?) I was always in turmoil. Always struggling to not let the actions and words of others affect me.

From traumas to friendships to work — I would internalize everything and allow it to completely control my inner peace.

Through therapy, and a whole lot of commitment each day, I think I’ve got an initial understanding of how to combat that.

I’ve made myself happy.

I detach from things and people who bring me great stress, I put a lot of time towards the things that make me feel whole, and I repeat over and over to myself — that is not yours to control.

I haven’t ever been a judgmental person. It’s not in my nature. BUT, I do think that when I’m unhappy with myself, I find ways to be unhappy with others. I’ll be less patient with a coworker or I’ll make a snippy comment about a friend.

Lately, that’s not been a thing. For the most part, I have more patience, less internal bitterness, and more namaste.

Because I am a very instant gratification, what’s the purpose, when do we achieve the goal type A person — I want to have tangible results on things. Even therapy. And after a year of steadily committing to it, I was thinking where has it brought me and what has it taught me.

And the biggest thing I realized is this peace. The ability to let things go as not mine to own. And to genuinely not feel on the defensive 24/7. To not constantly be waiting for what’s next and allowing my anxieties to convince me of things that simply are not true.

Everything is not perfect, but all the sparkles are falling into place. I’m not naive enough to believe everything will be sparkles and rainbows forever, but I am confident I have better tools to manage the storms. Acknowledging that I am at peace gives me the realization that I have all the tools in front of me. When things get hard, I have everything I need to get through it.

My biggest piece of advice for those of you struggling with anxiety is to find peace within yourself. Figure out what that looks like and how to achieve it. And harness it. Go back to that place whenever you can. Write down what gets you there. Create a toolbox that you can rely on when things get tough. Because they will. They always will.

I had an epiphany the other day, and it has everything to do with the faith I have in myself.

Happy Birthday to ME!

I am 34 today! Which seems wildly old and wildly young all at the same time!

I love a good celebration of birth. Since I was a wee sequin, I really got on board with celebrating birthdays to the max. I just love a good day of sparkles and happiness and focusing on me!

It’s also such a fun way to reflect on the year before, the year ahead, and all that entails.

This year was completely unexpected. I left Texas to move back to Northern California to work in an entirely new industry, entirely new role, and to a job I didn’t even apply to. I was actively looking for a new role, but to be recruited by one of the biggest brands in the world was both terrifying and flattering all at once.

I sincerely had no idea what this year would bring and no expectations on this life change.

It’s been all the things. A blessing, a challenge — and all of the in between too. I don’t know if staying in the Bay Area is really the best fit for me long term, but for the first time, I do feel like I’m with a company I want to stay with long term.

Personally, I’ve worked harder than ever before to commit to therapy, actively put myself before work, and get out of my comfort zone with travel/friendships/relationships.

I actually struggled a lot with feeling “old” and having to fit into societal norms of what that means, something I never really thought I’d struggle with. But 34 seems like a weirdly better age than 33? I don’t know why and I realize that makes no sense, but neither do I.

34 feels like it’s going to be a freaking cool year because of all the possibilities in life. I’m traveling more, I’m going after the next step in my career at Google Cloud, and I’m saying yes more to the things I need to be healthy and happy.

Age is just a number, but I’m an athlete. And to us, numbers are everything. They’re the wins, the loses, the identity - the truly define our world. I’ll never grow out of identifying numbers with positives and negatives.

So for 34, I’m giving a cheers to me, myself, I and all the adventures to come! How lucky am I to be in a place that all my dreams are not only possible, they’re something I can see in front of me?

And for those of you who know that every year on my birthday I check something off my bucket list, I’m spending the day in a true spa day! I’ve never been able to manage the financials nor the time of a spa day but this year, I am making that happen!

Sparking Joy

A big priority for me lately has been to do things that spark joy. I get that we are no longer in a Marie Kondo moment, but it has stuck with me. In everything that I do - I want to spark joy.

In that spirit - starting next week, I will only be posting a blog weekly. One a week. That’s it.

I love writing, it’s an outlet for me. I never started this blog with the intention of becoming famous or anything but using it as a platform for myself and the few people who read it.

But my life is really busy lately. I’m doing a million things in my career, a million things in my personal life, and having to post twice a week, very week - it has become a chore, adding stress instead of sparking joy.

Until my life slows down a little bit, I’m going to slow down how often I post. I never want writing to become tedious for me. I want it to stay something I’m passionate about and enjoy doing.

I realize this affects probably 3-5 people, so thanks for continuing to keep up and follow along with my life and opinions.

Life lesson - if something becomes a stress for you, stop doing it. Adjust your day. Or adjust your attitude if you cannot give that thing up for the time being. Joy matters, and it is really important to prioritize. It’s also an effective over simplified way to keep yourself in check each day.

Spark joy.

Investment

Ok, not that kind of investment. Certainly by 30 you should be well on your way to financial security with a diverse portfolio and a 401K, but this blog, it’s not about that. This blog is about investing in your wardrobe.

I am a self proclaimed discount shopper. I won’t pay full price for anything. But I’m also a grown up. And I understand that at my age, I need to be mindful of the pieces I’m purchasing. It’s time to invest in well made staples that I can build a foundation with.

How do you build a wardrobe that lasts and is also mindful of current style trends? Let me tell you, I’m no style expert. I tend to live in leggings more often that not. So you can trust me when I say this blog is for the everyday woman. Who lives for comfort but also wants to look put together.

  1. Find your style

    What’s your style? I don’t believe in fitting any one mold or having to stick to a style but I do think its important to understand what your style is so that you’re not forcing yourself into a trend because it’s cool. Invest in figuring out what works for your body type. What accentuates your frame? Don’t spend money on clothes and accessories just because you like them. Figure out what looks and feels good or it’s a complete waste of your time and money.

  2. Spend on Staples

    Spend a little more for well made, long lasting, classic pieces. Clothes you should be investing extra money in are jeans, t-shirts, jackets, shoes - pieces you wear often and that you can pair with different accessories to look different. For example, a good pair of jeans can be paired with a million different tops and shoes so repeating isn’t an issue.

  3. Save on Trends

    If you’re buying trendy items, go to places like H&M who make them for cheap. That way when they’re out of style or you’re over them, you didn’t spend a huge amount for nothing. If it’s a piece for a big event or special occasion and you’re not going to wear it again, opt for a more inexpensive option of the piece you’re coveting in a magazine.

  4. Spend Smart Regardless

    I won’t pay full price for just about anything. If I’m buying an expensive item, I’m looking where I can find the best quality for the best bargain. I own two gorgeous leather bags that I bought in Italy. The same leather that’s used for big names like Chanel and Louis Vuitton. But because I bought it in Italy, without the designer label on it (it’s just classic black good leather), I paid $300 instead of $3,000. You can also get good quality shoes and clothing at places like Nordstrom Rack that are on sale but well made.

This sounds silly, but create a list of staple pieces. The French often do this to build out a minimalist wardrobe with well made pieces. For example, jeans, t-shirts, blazers, riding boots, little black dress, etc. You know the things you need to have last the stand of time, invest in those. Slowly build up a wardrobe that caters to that.

BIG Mood

Ya’ll, I am happy.

Truly, wildly, happy.

I’ve not ever felt at peace and sort of wondered if life was always just a dramatic series of things are ok but not great. But things are great.

To me that simply means I feel happy.

In all honesty, work has everything to do with it. They say work isn’t everything, and whoever they are, they’re right. But work takes up a really large portion of our time so when that isn’t good, it affects everything.

Let’s take a pulse check -

Most days, I’m home by 430. I don’t work on weekends for the first time in 12 years. My workday is mine to create. If I need to work from home, I can. Need to go to a doctor appointment? Just go.

That leaves me a lot of time to do the things that keep me feeling my happiest self. I feel full and complete. I workout everyday. I cook dinner. I can meet with friends during the week. I can fly to visit people and join adventures without worrying about a weekend work trip. I can do all the things y’all

So I’m happy.

I keep up with shows. I make plans. I am invested with therapy. All of the things that make me feel whole, I get them done in the day and still have time to relax.

Is this the life ya’ll been living and I’ve been missing out? I never understood how people got everything done and had these vibrant social lives. I get it now.

I’m having a really BIG MOOD.

There’s obviously still times that are more stressful, nights I don’t get home until later - but that’s few and far between. It used to be my normal. My new normal is having a full life.

I keep wondering how my writing will evolve as I am a happier, healthier me. I have less time to write, but writing is still important to me. Stay tuned sequins, I have a feeling this mood is here to stay…and I hope you’ll continue with me on this journey!

Destination Addiction

The first time I ever moved away from home was at 26. Up until that point I never lived farther than an hour flight from where I was born and raised. When I made that move, it was to grow. I wanted to get out of my comfort zone. But soon after, I moved again. And again.

It wasn't until recently that I heard of the idea of destination addiction.

Destination Addiction is a preoccupation with the idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job, and with the next partner.

Every time I was unhappy in my current situation, I left. And while I was searching for that next city or job (or quite frankly running from the current relationship), I was missing out on what was in front of me.

Truth is, happiness can be created any time. It's about your attitude and your effort. You're always going to want for more. A better job, better partner, better home - that's a constant. Very rarely do all the stars align for perfect. And when it does, it's very brief. But when you choose to focus on the joy, to put the negative in a box at the side, you allow for happiness in the present.

I think back to times I was unhappy and how I let it consume me. My only focus was to get out. Get to the next destination. And while I won't downplay the times I was truly miserable, if I had refused to allow those parts to take over my entire world, I would have made room for a lot of happiness.

I missed out on events, developing friendships, and new adventures because all I could see was what could be next. You don't get a redo on what you miss out on. I don't get to go back and attend the birthday party. I don't get a second chance with everyone I no longer have relationships with.

Having a longing for more, for better is okay. Allowing those feelings to become all consuming, are not. Being able to understand that happiness is not the next job, relationship, or destination is one of the most critical life skills you could ever learn.

Happiness is possible whenever, wherever, with whomever as long as you're open to it.

It's up to you - do you want to live 75 years chasing the next best thing or do you want to get up everyday and truly live?

Daily Mantras

I'm not really into all this new age feel good wellness.  I'm still getting used to the idea of therapy, let alone balancing my chakras, shaking some crystals, and using sage to cleanse my space.  

You've really got to start slow with me when it comes to all this meditation and such.

So I'm starting with mantras.  I've started with daily affirmations/mantras - whatever you want to call them - that give me a positive vibe to focus on for the day.

Obviously I've started with Pinterest to find myself these magical words of motivation. 

Let me share out a few with you:

I'm not sure that my entire life has changed yet - but it's a really easy start for the hippie skeptic that I am.  Here's how you incorporate it into your life:

1. Write down your daily mantra 

2. Say it to yourself to start the day

3. Keep it with you throughout the day and remind yourself of it when you're struggling

That's it.  It's simple, it's purposeful, and it's not too braids and bongs for the common realist.

Get out there and make the day better sequins!