Panicked

It is obviously a very strange and stressful time in our world right now. Everywhere we turn there is more scary news about the Coronavirus. And that’s causing a panic.

We should absolutely be taking this very seriously. It is a very serious virus and has proven to shut down entire nations. But there is absolutely no reason to panic.

I obviously life with anxiety. And I’m scared too because I have a compromised immune system.

I am also a realist. And I care about myself and others. So I am choosing not to panic. I am also choosing to self quarantine. You should be doing these things as well.

If you have anxiety, this is a challenge. So let’s talk about to make it easier.

Limit Exposure

I mean this literally by social distancing but I also mean in the form of a digital detox. Stay informed with reputable and real sources (aka stop listening to the White House), but limit the amount of negative information you are exposing yourself to. Log off social media where a lot of the information available is wrong. Turn the channel if you’ve already spent time updating yourself for the day. The more you take in the content that is negative, the more you will panic. Turn it off, turn off the thing that is exacerbating your anxiety.

Stay Occupied

Distractions are everything. Been meaning to clean out your closet and donate old clothes? Is that book your friend recommended gathering dust on your bedside table? Still have that Pilates class waiting in your DVR? Do those things. Choose positive distractions during this time. Do all the things we all put off in our regular busy lives. And if it doesn’t bring you joy, don’t do it.

Create a Safe Space

You’re going to be spending a lot of time at home. Put in the work to make it a safe and comfortable space for you. Prepare with the supplies you need (prepare, NOT panic), make a cozy space, clean and organize. Do everything you need to do in order to feel joy and calm in your space. The more you feel “at home” the easier it is to actually spend well, all of your time there.

Invest in the right kind of social

No, not social media. We are social beings, we need that connection. FaceTime your family and friends. Text with them. Send cards, emails, tag the memes! Continue to remain connected in a healthy low risk way to the people that are important to you. Even the most introverted person in the world is not going to survive with no human contact.

Keep moving

My fitness game the last week has been on point. Get outside. Go for a walk (if you’re in a suburban or rural area, city kids sorry - keep your workouts at home), sit outside, get a workout class in (virtually). Mental health is connected to physical health. Don’t sit too long. Don’t sleep all day. Get moving.

Eat healthy

Again, health body, healthy mind. You can still order groceries online. Cool healthy meals. Eat healthy snacks. You’ve got time to show your Pinterest board the recipes you’ve been saving are actually going to be out to use. Sure, indulge, but eat as healthy as you can.

I know, things seem bleak right now. Things are hard. They’re straight up not fun. And for a lot of people, they are terrifying. Show up for yourself and others by doing the right thing. Stay home. Be kind. Help others where you can. We will get through this, but we have to do it together.

New Normal

Since I know you've been religiously reading my blog, you're caught up on my new normal of setting boundaries in the workplace and balancing a personal life.  I'm proud to say that for the past few weeks I've actually been able to do it, and it's weird.  

As a working adult I've only ever experienced the overworked endless to do list life. I've never gone through the work day at ease or with time to actively focus on one task.  It's been constant putting out of fires and leaving at the end of the day completely drained.

But for the past few weeks I've left work feeling accomplished.  I have had a reasonable workload.  I haven't been on an airplane.  I haven't been surviving on a few hours of sleep.  I've even left my desk for lunch.  

And in true form - this gives me anxiety.

Because I only know the life of an overachiever, a save the day hero, a never say no champion - I feel like an absolute waste of space existing in normal job land.  I'm paranoid I've become like everyone else, good at my job but not the star.  I'm worried I'm seen as a slacker.  That I'm not doing enough.

Keep in mind I put in my 8+ hours each day so I'm by no means coasting through anything.  I'm actually more productive because I have the time to perfect the details, to look at how we can grow accounts, and to evaluate past events.  

But I can't help but wonder - is this normal?  Is this what it's like to be a normal employee somewhere?  You do your job, you go home and you live your life and there's this sense of calm and that's just ok?  What do I do with my hands?  Where's the fire drill?

I recently started therapy (I know, I'm so evolved look at me!) and my therapist is working on getting me to understand what it's like to shift my commitment to work to myself.  To learn to continue to be really good at what I do but to also take that same dedication to building up my personal life.  To understanding that I don't have to be it all to be valued in my company.  

Right now - I'm not very good at it if we are being really honest.  But I'm starting to get addicted to being invested in myself.  To leaving work at work, to saying no to taking it all on.  There's still that little voice that taps me on the shoulder and says you're not enough, you're missing out on opportunities when you set boundaries - but then there's this sparkly bitch on my other shoulder who has a fire inside of her.  She likes Pilates and dinners with friends.  She enjoys going on dates.  She lives for quiet time to write at home.  She's super passionate about her Thursday night TV shows.  

The more that sparkly angel speaks up and the more I feed her energy, the quieter my anxiety monster gets.  And while I very well could miss out on something in my career, the balance is worth it.  Feeling whole again is worth it.  It's so damn cliché and yet something I have wholeheartedly yearned to embody: On your deathbed, do you want to remember all the times you stayed late for work or do you want to remember all the passions you felt and the people you made memories with?