Thank{ful}

Thanksgiving is weird. We all know by now the white men that came through and pillaged America aren’t exact what we should be celebrating. I’m also generally not for specific holidays telling you to give thanks. I do a lot of feeling grateful everyday.

In fact for almost 9 months now, I have listed three things I’m grateful for. Ad today, I’m thankful for that. Can you be thankful for gratitude?

I’m celebrating that I take the time everyday to reflect on the day and what I have to be grateful for. Whether it’s as simple as a really good meal or election results, it gives me a way to end my day on a high and set myself up for success tomorrow.

Is everyday amazing? Hell no. But there is good in every single day. And whether I have a bad day or not, eventually a good one will follow.

I hope you spend time with people you love today and I hope you are thankful. I also hope that you incorporate thankful into your everyday.

And to be honest, in the spirit of understanding Thanksgiving is kind of a shit Holiday given the history, I hope you express gratitude for the diversity in America and the changes we are working towards.

That’s all I ask. Give some thanks for your life everyday and give some thanks today for the future of our country.

Today I’m grateful, I’m thankful and I’m committed to bringing more of that into my life.

Panicked

It is obviously a very strange and stressful time in our world right now. Everywhere we turn there is more scary news about the Coronavirus. And that’s causing a panic.

We should absolutely be taking this very seriously. It is a very serious virus and has proven to shut down entire nations. But there is absolutely no reason to panic.

I obviously life with anxiety. And I’m scared too because I have a compromised immune system.

I am also a realist. And I care about myself and others. So I am choosing not to panic. I am also choosing to self quarantine. You should be doing these things as well.

If you have anxiety, this is a challenge. So let’s talk about to make it easier.

Limit Exposure

I mean this literally by social distancing but I also mean in the form of a digital detox. Stay informed with reputable and real sources (aka stop listening to the White House), but limit the amount of negative information you are exposing yourself to. Log off social media where a lot of the information available is wrong. Turn the channel if you’ve already spent time updating yourself for the day. The more you take in the content that is negative, the more you will panic. Turn it off, turn off the thing that is exacerbating your anxiety.

Stay Occupied

Distractions are everything. Been meaning to clean out your closet and donate old clothes? Is that book your friend recommended gathering dust on your bedside table? Still have that Pilates class waiting in your DVR? Do those things. Choose positive distractions during this time. Do all the things we all put off in our regular busy lives. And if it doesn’t bring you joy, don’t do it.

Create a Safe Space

You’re going to be spending a lot of time at home. Put in the work to make it a safe and comfortable space for you. Prepare with the supplies you need (prepare, NOT panic), make a cozy space, clean and organize. Do everything you need to do in order to feel joy and calm in your space. The more you feel “at home” the easier it is to actually spend well, all of your time there.

Invest in the right kind of social

No, not social media. We are social beings, we need that connection. FaceTime your family and friends. Text with them. Send cards, emails, tag the memes! Continue to remain connected in a healthy low risk way to the people that are important to you. Even the most introverted person in the world is not going to survive with no human contact.

Keep moving

My fitness game the last week has been on point. Get outside. Go for a walk (if you’re in a suburban or rural area, city kids sorry - keep your workouts at home), sit outside, get a workout class in (virtually). Mental health is connected to physical health. Don’t sit too long. Don’t sleep all day. Get moving.

Eat healthy

Again, health body, healthy mind. You can still order groceries online. Cool healthy meals. Eat healthy snacks. You’ve got time to show your Pinterest board the recipes you’ve been saving are actually going to be out to use. Sure, indulge, but eat as healthy as you can.

I know, things seem bleak right now. Things are hard. They’re straight up not fun. And for a lot of people, they are terrifying. Show up for yourself and others by doing the right thing. Stay home. Be kind. Help others where you can. We will get through this, but we have to do it together.

Tis the Season

The holidays are HERE! Glitter and lights and food and presents and I LOVE IT ALL. I started watching Christmas movies at least 3 weeks ago. Mariah Carey’s Christmas album? Been on my Spotify since early November. I’d start wearing Christmas sweaters in June if it wasn’t so hot.

I’m a huge fan of the holidays. Really, I think most people are. It’s time with family and friends and being cozy. And there’s usually no work. The cheesy movies are everywhere, drinks flowing, what’s not to love?

It’s also been a really difficult year for a lot of people. And watching our current administration react abhorrently to that has reminded me just how lucky I am to not be experiencing the devastation a lot of Americans are.

From being ripped from their families, fires taking homes, pets, and family members, mass shootings - people are truly going through things I could never imagine. It makes me feel more compassion and a drive to help.

Sure, I still want Christmas presents, but I don’t really need anything. So my family has decided to cap Christmas presents this year and instead put our money towards a family in need. Because yea, I still want to open a stocking on Christmas morning, but I’m willing to give up the rest of my presents so someone else can have a stocking too.

Here’s the thing, if we ever hope to get ourselves in a better place as a country, we have to give back. We have to learn to care about people who are nothing like us. We have to help people going through things that don’t affect us.

Just because its not happening to you, doesn’t mean it doesn't concern you.

Read that back. Again and again. And maybe one more time for the folks in denial. And in the back. And in Washington. Could we get a billboard maybe?

Privilege exists because there are groups of people who by societal creation, don’t experience life the same way other people do. Those with privilege are born and have it a little easier because of how they were born. Skin color. Gender. Affluence. Name. Etc etc.

Realistically, privilege doesn’t save you from mother nature — that’s by chance. But privilege allows some of us to come out of those horrific events and rebuild quicker and better than others have the means to.

Privilege does dictate a lot of the other situations this administration has put people in. The hate, bigotry, racism - those are intentional and man made. They are put into the universe by people afraid of equality because it takes away from the advantage they have in life.

Again - if this ain’t your first blog with me, you’re aware that I’m not saying those in privilege are bad. Or should feel shame. Or apologize. They shouldn’t. But have awareness. Honestly everyone just have some awareness in general. Because I also don’t believe just because you’re born with less the world owes you more. 

I digress —  

For me, the holiday season reminds me of these things. It reminds me that yes, even privileged, I go through things. Admitting my privilege doesn’t mean I don’t suffer. My privilege does however give me a platform to speak up and to help others in doing so.

The holiday season reminds me that if I want a better world, I have to start with myself. I’ve got to give back where I can, speak up where I can, and lead by example.

My resources are not unlimited. I have bills to pay, I deserve to make purchases for things I want and enjoy doing, my time is valuable. That’s not an excuse for sitting back and staying quiet. Honestly, at the very least, I would hope you would want someone to help you if you ever came on hard times — do the same for them.

It blows my mind that people have to be told why they should care about giving back. About speaking up. About stepping outside their own lives to make the world a better place. You should never have to be someone else or go through another person’s struggles to have compassion. You should care because it’s the right thing to do. You should care because the world is bigger than you.

There are so many ways to give back. I hope you take the time to find a way that you can help others that works for you. I’m passionate about the Camp Fire because I’m from Northern California. I have family members in the area and this is my community. My heart aches for the people and animals who have gone through and will continue to go through so much. I’m also deeply passionate about equality, animal welfare, cancer research, among other things. So I find ways to give back to those areas where I can.

Domestic abuse is close to my heart as well. So when I lived in Texas, I found a thrift store that benefits a domestic violence shelter and I donated my used items to it. I shopped there. Do you know how easy that level of giving is? I simply dropped off my gently used items and then I shopped. All in the name of charity. It can be that simple. I literally shopped as a means of helping others. Start somewhere. Anywhere.

What are you passionate about? Find that and you’ll find how easy it is to get involved and stay involved in making that area of the world a better place.

 

Thankful

Thanksgiving again? 2018 was fast and furious man. But here we are. And now I’ve got to write about what I’m thankful for. This year, as I embark on a new career journey, I am thankful for my ethics. Weird right?

Let me explain. I have really high standards when it comes to ethics. I believe in doing what’s right essentially 100% of the time. There are very few instances in which I’m willing to compromise my commitment to that.

It’s caused me quite a few issues in the workplace as well as in my personal life. And that’s been frustrating. It’s really hard for me to understand how anyone could not act ethically. I’ve lost out on good jobs, friendships, relationships – because I refuse to compromise that value.

I sort of always thought that would be my lot in life. That I was doomed to just have the uncomfortable situations where I refuse to compromise my ethics and I’m shamed for it or it causes me to lose out at work.

I was hired at my recent gig in large part because of who I am. My commitment to being authentic and highly ethical. I want to be a good human and do what’s right and finally, I’m somewhere that appreciates those things about me. Is it perfect in its own right every time? Absolutely not. And I’m willing to say they’ve got work to do. But the transparency and willingness to change is huge.

I am so thankful for it. I love these parts of me and I don’t ever want to have to compromise them for anyone. Being valued for them, feels so incredible.

I’d say to anyone out there who questions a quality about themselves, stop. Stay the path. Eventually, the thing that may be holding you back somewhere will be the thing that propels you farther than you ever thought possible.

I’m at a one of the largest most respected and sought-after companies in the world, and I haven’t compromised a damn thing to get there. I’m me and that’s enough.

Be thankful for the best parts of you that go unappreciated. Eventually, they’ll be what sets you apart in the best way. It’s not always the easiest process nor is it the quickest, but it’s worth the commitment to what matters to you. To being authentic to you and your highest values.

Along the same lines – I am thankful for the people in my life who have the same high ethics. The people who just really want to be better and do better for not just themselves, but for people they don’t even know. I see what you do each day to give back, to be kind to strangers, and to educate yourselves, and I appreciate you.

I am beyond thankful for you because you would never think to ask be to compromise my own ethics. In fact, a lot of you push me to be even better, and that’s incredible. I’m not perfect. I don’t aim to be. But I aim to be a decent human being and that’s important today.

Mostly I’m thankful for being able to appreciate these qualities in myself and others. I’ve become annoyingly introspective in a healthy way these days and it builds my confidence to know and love these things about myself. Unless you’ve lived the unhealthy criticism life, you don’t know how freeing and just plain good it feels to be able to acknowledge something awesome about yourself without qualifying it.

I know a lot of people sit around the table at Thanksgiving and talk about what they’re thankful for. I challenge you to go beyond the surface. Maybe doing it in front of everyone isn’t for you but take some time to yourself and think of what you’re most thankful for within yourself, and within the people around you. It doesn’t take long and it can provide you with a quick confidence boost (and probably mood boost) when you do. It’s the beginning of the Holiday season folks. Lots to celebrate. Lots to be thankful for. Lots to look forward to.

The Holiday season is definitely my favorite time of year (basic babes unite) because it allows me to reflect, set my intentions, and eat. Whatever, that last one is your favorite too.

What are you thankful for sequins? Let me know if you do something nontraditional during the Holidays to express gratitude. I’d love to hear about it!

Muchas Gracias!

Yesterday was Thanksgiving.  A day dedicated to giving thanks for what you're most grateful for.  And while every day should have time to feel thankful - I love seeing everyone's sentiments and things they are thankful for during the Holidays. 

The past year has been especially tough for me.  I've been faced with many challenges that I wasn't sure I'd survive.  Generally I don't share my struggles with many people.  I prefer to focus on the good and positive thinking - but just like anyone - I have hard times.  I wanted to share some of the things I'm thankful for because despite everything I've been thrown this year - I am incredibly thankful for the life that I have been afforded.

I give thanks for...

  • Family (and friends who are family): Opening up to my people lately has allowed me to realize I've got a lot of people in my corner and if I trust them and let down my guard, I have an incredible support system to lean on
  • Open Mindedness: There's a lot of hate, turmoil, and uncertainties out there right now.  I'm thankful I have open minded humans around me that I can have positive, open, productive conversations with
  • My Health: If you know me well, you know my health has given me some challenges.  Right now, I've got very little complaints, and that's incredible. 
  • Ignorance: I know, what a weird thing to be grateful for - but I am grateful for ignorance because its taught me patience and its taught me to let go of toxic people and situations.
  • My Puppy: Having a puppy for a year now has taught me so much about unconditional love, patience and how to care for another creature's livelihood.  #Adulting

There you go.  That's my very short list of the things I'm especially thankful for this year.  I try to take time to be thankful every day because thankfulness creates mindfulness and fuels positivity.  And in a world that is currently facing a lot of turmoil - I choose to combat that with unrelenting optimism.

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and ate all the foods!  Cheers to the most wonderful time of year my friends!

#SparkleOn