Panicked

It is obviously a very strange and stressful time in our world right now. Everywhere we turn there is more scary news about the Coronavirus. And that’s causing a panic.

We should absolutely be taking this very seriously. It is a very serious virus and has proven to shut down entire nations. But there is absolutely no reason to panic.

I obviously life with anxiety. And I’m scared too because I have a compromised immune system.

I am also a realist. And I care about myself and others. So I am choosing not to panic. I am also choosing to self quarantine. You should be doing these things as well.

If you have anxiety, this is a challenge. So let’s talk about to make it easier.

Limit Exposure

I mean this literally by social distancing but I also mean in the form of a digital detox. Stay informed with reputable and real sources (aka stop listening to the White House), but limit the amount of negative information you are exposing yourself to. Log off social media where a lot of the information available is wrong. Turn the channel if you’ve already spent time updating yourself for the day. The more you take in the content that is negative, the more you will panic. Turn it off, turn off the thing that is exacerbating your anxiety.

Stay Occupied

Distractions are everything. Been meaning to clean out your closet and donate old clothes? Is that book your friend recommended gathering dust on your bedside table? Still have that Pilates class waiting in your DVR? Do those things. Choose positive distractions during this time. Do all the things we all put off in our regular busy lives. And if it doesn’t bring you joy, don’t do it.

Create a Safe Space

You’re going to be spending a lot of time at home. Put in the work to make it a safe and comfortable space for you. Prepare with the supplies you need (prepare, NOT panic), make a cozy space, clean and organize. Do everything you need to do in order to feel joy and calm in your space. The more you feel “at home” the easier it is to actually spend well, all of your time there.

Invest in the right kind of social

No, not social media. We are social beings, we need that connection. FaceTime your family and friends. Text with them. Send cards, emails, tag the memes! Continue to remain connected in a healthy low risk way to the people that are important to you. Even the most introverted person in the world is not going to survive with no human contact.

Keep moving

My fitness game the last week has been on point. Get outside. Go for a walk (if you’re in a suburban or rural area, city kids sorry - keep your workouts at home), sit outside, get a workout class in (virtually). Mental health is connected to physical health. Don’t sit too long. Don’t sleep all day. Get moving.

Eat healthy

Again, health body, healthy mind. You can still order groceries online. Cool healthy meals. Eat healthy snacks. You’ve got time to show your Pinterest board the recipes you’ve been saving are actually going to be out to use. Sure, indulge, but eat as healthy as you can.

I know, things seem bleak right now. Things are hard. They’re straight up not fun. And for a lot of people, they are terrifying. Show up for yourself and others by doing the right thing. Stay home. Be kind. Help others where you can. We will get through this, but we have to do it together.

Perfection

Growing up my safe space has always been to aim for perfection. When I fall short of that, I dwell in a really negative space. If I make a mistake at work, I say something unkind — I am not able to let that go.

Perfection is not attainable. It is not real. It’s not even really cool.

Yet at 34, I still cannot run far from that need to be perfect.

Growing up an athlete, it is ingrained in you to be the best at everything. And if you’re not the best, you work harder until you are. I have carried that throughout my adult life. It’s exhausting.

I spend a lot of time in therapy learning to cut myself a break. Because in reality, I’m not perfect and I never will be.

Something I have started is spending time talking positively to myself, about myself. I’m supposed to work to make at least 50% of the thoughts in my head positive. That sounds easy but I’d say 90% of my thoughts are not kind.

Every time I speak negatively in my head to myself, I am challenging myself to say something positive to counter that mean thought.

Being a perfectionist with anxiety is a bit of a curse, and it truly doesn’t work. Especially given that I often don’t have a filter. Retraining you’re mind to focus on the good, well it just makes the good better. It amplifies the sparkle and makes your whole world shine.

I know I’m not alone. A lot of former athletes (and a lot of humans in general) relate to the need to be perfect. It’s all we know to strive for.

What if we changed the narrative and strived to be great as we are? If we focused on how badass we are? If we let ourselves be flawed and be thankful for that?

I challenge you to spend more time living and less time focusing on how to live perfectly. When you thrive in spaces that are uncomfortable — you might just find some of the most magical moments of your life.

A Lesson in Compassion

On Facebook lately I have been posting what I like to call: What you missed in Kindergarten.  It's a little lesson for those of you out there who forgot critical teachings such as:

1. Treat others as you wish to be treated
2. Keep your hands to yourself
3. Clean up your messes

Today, I'm going to bring one of these great lectures to all of you.  And this one is called:

Compassion.

Compassion is a feeling of wanting to help someone who is sick, hungry, in trouble, etc.

Read that back please.  Soak it in.  Really applies to current happenings in the world doesn't it?

I was raised to have deep compassion for others.  As much as I can be a bit cold and dead inside - I'm ultimately nursing a bleeding heart.  I want to help people.  Except for spiders, spiders can all be crushed and killed. 

As a kid I remember standing up to bullies.  As an adult I give time and money to helping those who don't have what I have.  I'm that way because I learned it from my parents.  The best lesson I have ever learned from my parents is to leave things better than you received them.  That includes the people you meet.

Compassion extends well beyond charity.  Compassion means having love and acceptance for those who are different.  And quite frankly, I'm not really sure what two people are the same, so we are ALL different.

In America today, we have a leader who encourages hate.  He is the opposite of a compassionate human being and it has only made me want to be more compassionate.  He makes me want to stand up for those being oppressed and say not today Satan - you don't get to do this to other people.

Compassion is love.  Compassion is kindness.  It's holding your hand out to stand by those who need an extra hand.  It's stopping yourself before you say something cruel.  It's spending time correcting those who give out hate.  Compassion is realizing the world is bigger than you.

My challenge to you is to be more patient.  Be more open.  Spend time committing your efforts to compassion and bettering the world now so that we can leave it in a better place for the future.  Compassion is having the courage to stand up to those who don't have compassion and say I choose to treat others as I wish to be treated and I choose to leave a legacy of empathy for future generations to come.

Class dismissed.