Panicked

It is obviously a very strange and stressful time in our world right now. Everywhere we turn there is more scary news about the Coronavirus. And that’s causing a panic.

We should absolutely be taking this very seriously. It is a very serious virus and has proven to shut down entire nations. But there is absolutely no reason to panic.

I obviously life with anxiety. And I’m scared too because I have a compromised immune system.

I am also a realist. And I care about myself and others. So I am choosing not to panic. I am also choosing to self quarantine. You should be doing these things as well.

If you have anxiety, this is a challenge. So let’s talk about to make it easier.

Limit Exposure

I mean this literally by social distancing but I also mean in the form of a digital detox. Stay informed with reputable and real sources (aka stop listening to the White House), but limit the amount of negative information you are exposing yourself to. Log off social media where a lot of the information available is wrong. Turn the channel if you’ve already spent time updating yourself for the day. The more you take in the content that is negative, the more you will panic. Turn it off, turn off the thing that is exacerbating your anxiety.

Stay Occupied

Distractions are everything. Been meaning to clean out your closet and donate old clothes? Is that book your friend recommended gathering dust on your bedside table? Still have that Pilates class waiting in your DVR? Do those things. Choose positive distractions during this time. Do all the things we all put off in our regular busy lives. And if it doesn’t bring you joy, don’t do it.

Create a Safe Space

You’re going to be spending a lot of time at home. Put in the work to make it a safe and comfortable space for you. Prepare with the supplies you need (prepare, NOT panic), make a cozy space, clean and organize. Do everything you need to do in order to feel joy and calm in your space. The more you feel “at home” the easier it is to actually spend well, all of your time there.

Invest in the right kind of social

No, not social media. We are social beings, we need that connection. FaceTime your family and friends. Text with them. Send cards, emails, tag the memes! Continue to remain connected in a healthy low risk way to the people that are important to you. Even the most introverted person in the world is not going to survive with no human contact.

Keep moving

My fitness game the last week has been on point. Get outside. Go for a walk (if you’re in a suburban or rural area, city kids sorry - keep your workouts at home), sit outside, get a workout class in (virtually). Mental health is connected to physical health. Don’t sit too long. Don’t sleep all day. Get moving.

Eat healthy

Again, health body, healthy mind. You can still order groceries online. Cool healthy meals. Eat healthy snacks. You’ve got time to show your Pinterest board the recipes you’ve been saving are actually going to be out to use. Sure, indulge, but eat as healthy as you can.

I know, things seem bleak right now. Things are hard. They’re straight up not fun. And for a lot of people, they are terrifying. Show up for yourself and others by doing the right thing. Stay home. Be kind. Help others where you can. We will get through this, but we have to do it together.

Perfection

Growing up my safe space has always been to aim for perfection. When I fall short of that, I dwell in a really negative space. If I make a mistake at work, I say something unkind — I am not able to let that go.

Perfection is not attainable. It is not real. It’s not even really cool.

Yet at 34, I still cannot run far from that need to be perfect.

Growing up an athlete, it is ingrained in you to be the best at everything. And if you’re not the best, you work harder until you are. I have carried that throughout my adult life. It’s exhausting.

I spend a lot of time in therapy learning to cut myself a break. Because in reality, I’m not perfect and I never will be.

Something I have started is spending time talking positively to myself, about myself. I’m supposed to work to make at least 50% of the thoughts in my head positive. That sounds easy but I’d say 90% of my thoughts are not kind.

Every time I speak negatively in my head to myself, I am challenging myself to say something positive to counter that mean thought.

Being a perfectionist with anxiety is a bit of a curse, and it truly doesn’t work. Especially given that I often don’t have a filter. Retraining you’re mind to focus on the good, well it just makes the good better. It amplifies the sparkle and makes your whole world shine.

I know I’m not alone. A lot of former athletes (and a lot of humans in general) relate to the need to be perfect. It’s all we know to strive for.

What if we changed the narrative and strived to be great as we are? If we focused on how badass we are? If we let ourselves be flawed and be thankful for that?

I challenge you to spend more time living and less time focusing on how to live perfectly. When you thrive in spaces that are uncomfortable — you might just find some of the most magical moments of your life.

Get a new table.

A friend posted an article on Facebook the other day that had me clapping in my living room. The article talked about finding a table to sit at where you’re not worried about being the topic of discussion in a negative way. And never in my 33 years of life have I related to anything more.

For reference, here’s the article. It’s a quick read that leaves you clapping and cheering for the wonderful author.

The whole point is that if you’re sitting at a table and the conversation revolves around judgments, criticism, and negativity - when you get up, guess who that’s going to be aimed at? YOU. It means if you’re with a group of women who like to gossip, chances are you’ve been the topic before. A lot of us grow up thinking that is normal. That women just gossip and that’s the way we are.

It’s not. If that’s the table you’re at, leave. Ger a new table and new friends. Immediately.

Life is too short to spend time with people who don’t respect you enough to be your biggest cheerleader. Your friends should be empowering you to be your best self. They can keep it real with you, but they should not be bringing you down.

Bottom line - if you’re at a table that’s bringing the negativity, leave. Do not pass go, do not collect $200, leave. And find you a table that’s willing to support you fiercely. If your tribe isn’t lifting you up to believe you can do anything, dump them. Dump them now. move on, and move on fast. And don’t you dare look back!

Sparkle Vibe Challenge

A few weeks back I posted a status on Facebook that became a bit of a tiny movement. All I did was ask for more puppy pics and less ignorance. And the results were that over 100 people posted pictures of their furry friends to my statement. And I have never felt happier.

Because of this, I've created a weekly challenge called the Sparkle Vibe Challenge. Each week I provide a new topic to Facebook and people have to post a corresponding image.

The goal is really just to make people smile. Facebook can often feel like a hostile environment due to politics, religion, etc. etc. I post about these things too. And I think it's important to speak loud and proud about what is right. But it's gone from discussion to attacks, hateful jabs, and just ugly reactions from people I have grown to no longer care for.

I'm not saying stop talking about things that matter. Please don't ever stop.

But I'd like to sprinkle a little positive vibes into the social media space as well. Sparkle Vibe challenge is my way of building people up and spreading a little sparkle into a space that doesn't always feel so sparkly.

What are you doing to help make your social media world a little more positive when it can feel so very damaging?